nothings really cooling off yet. everything is still up in the air. i found out what i was accused of stealing... its rediculous. why i would want to even look at what i "stole" flabergasts me. i told my dad that what was going on is so crappy and that we needed to talk because it really offends me. he said we talk when he got home yesterday, but did we, NO. i am glad we didnt, yes but things need to be fixed and sitting on my butt wont fix any of it.


i tried to talk to my friend so we can actually talk again. she blew me off, again but htis time gave me attitude. i can handle that because im strong and i know how to deal with it. but shes gone too far with emmy. poor girl is always crying over megan. she didnt do ANYTHING to desever it. megan went so far to tell emmy she didnt wanna be her friend anymore. wth! someone just needs to slap her and make her see what shes doing.


i cant wait till i get to go see mom this weekend. i need this break! i have to get away even if its for a few days. it will be so nice to see all the family and be able to breathe with out getting yelled at.


school has sucked for the last few days but its my only way to get away from the home life. it sucks that no matter where i go i cant get away. school needs to be over already. jesse should get his lisence asap so that during the summer he can take us to the movies or something. just all of us kids, no one else. although i am scared to be driving with him.... im not sure if i trust him driving.


ill be going to benson school next year, mixed feelings. i dont like the people there but i know ill get friends. im not sure if the education there is high enough for me. st. david was too easy and i dont feel like i learned anything. this school isnt much of a challange either. i fly through all of my work, i understand everything too. im in honors class so that makes it harder than the average student would have but its still too easy. i have good grades too all A's but like one B and thats because i dont always do my work. shame on me but the way things have been going i cant focus on doing my work.


i honestly cant wait ot move back to moms. i sure hope we will be able to get the house. if we do, it will make everything so much better. things wont go as i plan them in my head and i know that because they never trun out the way i think they will but it will be so much better than here. i want ot get a job so i can start earning money. ill probably just babysit so that i wont have to have work hour, so if i dont wanna work one day then i wont have to. i think once i move everything will get better but i have about five weeks left, hopfully i can make it.


my plan, which may not work at all, is to just ignore beth and let her be whatetever she wants to be. ill talk to dad if i need to or if he talks to me but im not out of my way to try and make things better becaseu i know it wont help at all.


ive gotten so close to mom these last few days. ive been able to talk to her everyday. i miss her so much. i miss getting those hugs before she left ot work. i miss her cooking. i just miss seeing her. shes so pretty. im so glad i got her looks! anyone who has her in their life is so special. i hope that when i move back home that our relationship will continue to grow. i know we will argue at times, but who doesnt? i just cant wait!