in these days there is so much getting in the way of everything. i look up to all my family. the faith that each one of them has stuns me. nothing is perfect but my family memebers have been through so much, losing loved ones, medical blessings, and other emotional trials. even though you can say some of my family has been to hell and back, several times, they have so much faith.
the most inspiring person in my life, besides my mom, is my aunt Becky. i was recently reading her blog and it made me tear up a bit.she has been through so much but through all that, shes been able to grow even stronger. the loss of a child is not easy in one bit and i hope none of you have to ever expirence it or if you have, that it wont happen ever again. shes has more faith than i thought anyone could have. knowing that we will be with Logan again us is one of the best blessings the church offers. she is so talented and special, one of the most beautiful. i love her. you never know who your effecting with what you say and how you act. Not only is she strong and never gives up, she has to be one of the sweetest people i know. she makes my faith grow so much more and makes me wish i had the faith and love she has.
Wendy is not only the mother, but she is so much more than that. she has the sweetest spirit and so much love for those around her. Her patience rises above all. i have never heard her yell or say an unkind word. she is so blessed by her faith. i look up to her everday. even when i was younger i remember how she was always so sweet. i love her so much.
The one thing i remember when i was younger was all the times i stayed with yvonne. she bought us easter baskets when mom couldnt. shealways helped mom out when ever you could and still continue to. Yvonne, shes been through so much an yet she so strong. i cant wait to live even closer to her. i always have so much fun with her and love her more that anything.
The one person i can always go to for anything. the one who lets me know she loves me just by the words she says. Bridgette, i love you so much. i know mom looks up to her. shes so special and wonderful. she can always make me laugh and smile even when ive had a bad day. shes done so much for me and all my memories with her are something i hope i never forget.
Tessa, shes no my aunt yet but she belongs to our family. i dont know her well but she is so sweet. shes always so nice and a hard worker. im so glad shes willing to take us to our moms this weekend even though she doesnt have to. shes doing it out of the kindness of her heart.
i have to say, everyone one in my family has had their hand full of trials, some more than others, but they stick with it and work it out. their faith in our Lord makes me realize that through all the trials and tribulations we have to endure we grow stronger and are able to accomplish so much more. i am so greatful for the wonderful example i get from my aunts. you never know how your actions will effect someone, for good or bad. you may feel like no ones is paying attention but in reality the ones paying attention are the ones you least expect.
it may seem like i dont pay attention to you.its those little things you do. any times i see my family they ALWAYS ask how ive been and listen to me when i have a problem, even if its something little. i love the way my family is and how much faith they have. you never know who your effecting with what you say and how you act. make everything count because someone is watching you and learning from it. smile always becasue you never know who is falling in love withyour smile.
i know that a simple smile can change someones day... :)
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
it is officially two weeks, 14 days left! i am so excited. i get to go to moms this weekend and were having tessas bridal shower and shes gunna be the one picking us up on friday. next friday gibby and emmy are coming over. its gunna be so fun.
a lot has happened over the weekend. i went into urgent care to get my arm checked out, "it looks great" "really?" "yea its fine" i was diagnosed with tendenitous but i dont think thats what it is. i have to wear this cast thingy for four weeks. it sucks because i dont get to do anything with my arm. i cant even type with it so i am chicken pecking all of this. lol
i had a talk with my bishop which gave some relief. its nice to be able to talk to someone about things. someone who can give advice and help you through your problems.
yesrterday i found out that i got a 85% on my test, the best score out of the whole class(most kids got in the 60's and below). the class is HONORS biology, most kids are sophmores and i am freshman. i have a 94% in that class, the highest grade in that class. i was smiling all day, everyone asked what evil plan i had in store lol i was so happy. i also fell out of my desk in math. the kid behind me saved the desk from falling over on me but i hit my head, it was not pretty. i turned bright red.
everything has been going great lately, nothings too bad like before where i couldnt even handle it. today should be a great day. it still hasnt sunk in that i will be leaving in two weeks, none of my friends seem to realize how quickly time will fly. its scary almost. to think im leaving and may not see any of them again.... terrifying..
i stll can decide what im going to do about school yet, its all confusing. if i talk with mom i think it will help. its gunna change the rest of my life no matter what i do. i want the experience of high scool but i want to go at my own speed because its faster than the school ill be going to. im not sure but i think im going to be in the medical field when im older.
ive been so cheery lately. im smiling and happy. its a great change. everyone thinks im up to something, ill just make them keep thinking that. its fine by me. its a great change. i dont know why i am like this but its really cool.
a lot has happened over the weekend. i went into urgent care to get my arm checked out, "it looks great" "really?" "yea its fine" i was diagnosed with tendenitous but i dont think thats what it is. i have to wear this cast thingy for four weeks. it sucks because i dont get to do anything with my arm. i cant even type with it so i am chicken pecking all of this. lol
i had a talk with my bishop which gave some relief. its nice to be able to talk to someone about things. someone who can give advice and help you through your problems.
yesrterday i found out that i got a 85% on my test, the best score out of the whole class(most kids got in the 60's and below). the class is HONORS biology, most kids are sophmores and i am freshman. i have a 94% in that class, the highest grade in that class. i was smiling all day, everyone asked what evil plan i had in store lol i was so happy. i also fell out of my desk in math. the kid behind me saved the desk from falling over on me but i hit my head, it was not pretty. i turned bright red.
everything has been going great lately, nothings too bad like before where i couldnt even handle it. today should be a great day. it still hasnt sunk in that i will be leaving in two weeks, none of my friends seem to realize how quickly time will fly. its scary almost. to think im leaving and may not see any of them again.... terrifying..
i stll can decide what im going to do about school yet, its all confusing. if i talk with mom i think it will help. its gunna change the rest of my life no matter what i do. i want the experience of high scool but i want to go at my own speed because its faster than the school ill be going to. im not sure but i think im going to be in the medical field when im older.
ive been so cheery lately. im smiling and happy. its a great change. everyone thinks im up to something, ill just make them keep thinking that. its fine by me. its a great change. i dont know why i am like this but its really cool.
Friday, May 6, 2011
well.... did dad and i have a talk, No.... but whatever. nothing ever gets done around here. im so sick and tired of this. yesterday brother reynolds came over to help us catch the calves and take off the halters. one of them left an impression on its face it was so tight.
im looking into online schools, i think it will be the best for me to take as many classes i can at once. i really want to have some challange in my life. i know i will be able to do good with it too. i have the motivation to finish everything on time, if not sooner. i can take online classes during the summer and normal classes during the school year, if not some online classes too. i dont want to overload myself when i cant do anything but work but i wnat to finish high school as soon as possible. its not that i just want to finish but that i want a challange and i need to use my brains for something right? ive been thinking a lot about what career i would like when im older, i wanted to be a dentist or a dental hygenist but i dont think thats what i want to do anymore. theres so many possibilites and i just dont know anymore. any suggestions?
i have less than three weeks here and on saturday i will have eighteen more days. i think i can make it. things have been a little cooler in the house lately. not much has happened, i hope it will stay like this. emmy and i may hang out this week. i sure hope so, i need to get away from everything.
im looking into online schools, i think it will be the best for me to take as many classes i can at once. i really want to have some challange in my life. i know i will be able to do good with it too. i have the motivation to finish everything on time, if not sooner. i can take online classes during the summer and normal classes during the school year, if not some online classes too. i dont want to overload myself when i cant do anything but work but i wnat to finish high school as soon as possible. its not that i just want to finish but that i want a challange and i need to use my brains for something right? ive been thinking a lot about what career i would like when im older, i wanted to be a dentist or a dental hygenist but i dont think thats what i want to do anymore. theres so many possibilites and i just dont know anymore. any suggestions?
i have less than three weeks here and on saturday i will have eighteen more days. i think i can make it. things have been a little cooler in the house lately. not much has happened, i hope it will stay like this. emmy and i may hang out this week. i sure hope so, i need to get away from everything.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
well well well.... not so good, like always. i got home and watched tv while i got something to eat. then i went outside to exersize like normal. it was a little too hot for me and i pulled a muscle in my leg so i decided to go inside. i was right behind beth and she grabbed the screen door and the door and shut them in my face when she knew i was right behind her. i stood there in shock then i went inside. i went ot my room and changed then went into the living room. lilah was messing with tesa so she hit her then lilah told her mom and tesa got yelled at. i was on the couch and kayla was gunna kick snow down the stairs and even said she was so i simply said, "kayla, dont kick my dog down the stairs" then beth said she wasnt even going to kick your dog. shes dont it before. yea just like youve kicked the cat? ive never kick the cat. yes you have, ive seen you. umm no i havent cuz its stupid. oh whatever just shut up. then she walked out the door.
right then i jumped off the couch and was gunna go after her but dad was outside. i got my shoes on and took off. kayla saw me leave and i think she told my dad. i called my mom to talk to her because im sick and tired of beth being so rude to me. dad called me twice while i was on the phone with her. so i called him back but he didnt answer. he called me back and yelled at me for talking so long ot call him back. and that i live with him so i have to answer him no matter waht cuz he may need me. "do you understand me?" sure. dont be like that to me kelsey. he started going off about how ive been acting like a vegetable, not doing anything and moopiing around. i told him maybe i want to be one. only a few can make it in life like that. well maybe ill be one of those few. lets hope for your sake.
he kept sugar coating everything he said, nothing was to the point. he kept saying that i havent been trying and im fihgting with everyone. finally i told him to just listen to me and to stop talking and just listen. he did and explained what was going on, some of the things beth had done. when i was over he yelled at me and said theres alwasy two side of the story. i tried to explain yea theres yours and mine but you wont listen to mine. he got made and we argued for a bit. there was a lot of silent times. finally the phone call was dropped.
i called emmy to talk to her. she helped a bit. then beth came out to the field where i was so i went inside then she came to the house. when ever i try to talk to someone out there adn she sees me she comes over to hear my converation. umm i leave so u wont hear me, so back off. im supposed to have a talk with dad tonight.....uggg
i was txting megan and we fixed somethings up but i still dont feel like everythings okay between us... its complicated. i talked to my bishop and that made me feel better. he told me when i talk ot him start wiht a hug, say a prayer, and then talk and try to make sure it doesnt become an arguement. he kept saying to bring up that maybe its better if i leave now because he could tell im really stressed and i shouldnt be put threw this. he said it like seven times that i should bring it up. maybe it is better if i leave now.... i dont know. he wouldnt have said that unless he was inspired to... i dont know. he told me i would be a good missionary and that i have big things ahead of me. brawner reynolds told me that yesterday too. he told me to read my scriptures and pray. the devil is like a valcano, he can errupt at anytime and once he does, all hell breaks loose.
i tired of all of this. i only have three weeks left and i really just want to stay but i cant if i keep being treated this way. i will bring up me leaving, i kind of feel like its for the best if i do go. i would like to finish school here and get my credits but at worst ill have to talk online clasees to make it up.
i want totake online classes anyway. shcool has never been challanging enough for me. i understand things most people dont. ive been told i am very bright and im very intelligent for my age. i want a challange. i mean its cool because im not stressed out with work but i want something harder. im afraid to try to make it harded incase its too hard for me and then i do get stressed out. i tried honors classes this year and its not even a challange for me. its sucks. i dont thing the school im going to will be challanging either.
i cant wati to go to moms, everything sseems to be working out perfect for when we come home. theres so many things that are going ot work out. if i can only make it these last three weeks....
right then i jumped off the couch and was gunna go after her but dad was outside. i got my shoes on and took off. kayla saw me leave and i think she told my dad. i called my mom to talk to her because im sick and tired of beth being so rude to me. dad called me twice while i was on the phone with her. so i called him back but he didnt answer. he called me back and yelled at me for talking so long ot call him back. and that i live with him so i have to answer him no matter waht cuz he may need me. "do you understand me?" sure. dont be like that to me kelsey. he started going off about how ive been acting like a vegetable, not doing anything and moopiing around. i told him maybe i want to be one. only a few can make it in life like that. well maybe ill be one of those few. lets hope for your sake.
he kept sugar coating everything he said, nothing was to the point. he kept saying that i havent been trying and im fihgting with everyone. finally i told him to just listen to me and to stop talking and just listen. he did and explained what was going on, some of the things beth had done. when i was over he yelled at me and said theres alwasy two side of the story. i tried to explain yea theres yours and mine but you wont listen to mine. he got made and we argued for a bit. there was a lot of silent times. finally the phone call was dropped.
i called emmy to talk to her. she helped a bit. then beth came out to the field where i was so i went inside then she came to the house. when ever i try to talk to someone out there adn she sees me she comes over to hear my converation. umm i leave so u wont hear me, so back off. im supposed to have a talk with dad tonight.....uggg
i was txting megan and we fixed somethings up but i still dont feel like everythings okay between us... its complicated. i talked to my bishop and that made me feel better. he told me when i talk ot him start wiht a hug, say a prayer, and then talk and try to make sure it doesnt become an arguement. he kept saying to bring up that maybe its better if i leave now because he could tell im really stressed and i shouldnt be put threw this. he said it like seven times that i should bring it up. maybe it is better if i leave now.... i dont know. he wouldnt have said that unless he was inspired to... i dont know. he told me i would be a good missionary and that i have big things ahead of me. brawner reynolds told me that yesterday too. he told me to read my scriptures and pray. the devil is like a valcano, he can errupt at anytime and once he does, all hell breaks loose.
i tired of all of this. i only have three weeks left and i really just want to stay but i cant if i keep being treated this way. i will bring up me leaving, i kind of feel like its for the best if i do go. i would like to finish school here and get my credits but at worst ill have to talk online clasees to make it up.
i want totake online classes anyway. shcool has never been challanging enough for me. i understand things most people dont. ive been told i am very bright and im very intelligent for my age. i want a challange. i mean its cool because im not stressed out with work but i want something harder. im afraid to try to make it harded incase its too hard for me and then i do get stressed out. i tried honors classes this year and its not even a challange for me. its sucks. i dont thing the school im going to will be challanging either.
i cant wati to go to moms, everything sseems to be working out perfect for when we come home. theres so many things that are going ot work out. if i can only make it these last three weeks....
Monday, May 2, 2011
went to moms for the weekend. jesse went out with jason and dewy on saturday and tesa went with cheri that morning. so it was just me and mom. it was a real nice weekend. didnt do much besides lay around. mom made me cinnamon rolls, yummy. sunday went ot church and hung out iwht yvonne, tessa and jon, and mom and grandma. it was a nice day. then dad was being so rude to me because i didnt have my phone on me and he didnt believe me.
on the way home i put my headphones in becasue i didnt want to listen to any of them but i over heard him yelling at tesa because of snowflake. "what is that collar for? Where did she sleep?" all these questions and i almost said just shut up. it doesnt matter, shes my dog and my sister leave them both alone. it was annoying. luckily i fell asleep most of the way. when we got home i didnt say one word to him just went ot my room. then got a drink and he hugged me but my face was in his chest and i couldnt breathe so i pushed him away, i wasnt hugging him in the first place, he was hugging me. so it probably seemed like i didnt wanna talk to him much less hug him, which i didnt.
todays just like a crappy day. i dont wanna be at school right now. its not that its a bad day, i just dont wanna be here. so much has been going on and i am sick and tired of it. i dont have any of my school stuff done. im tired and wanna go to bed, permenently....
on the way home i put my headphones in becasue i didnt want to listen to any of them but i over heard him yelling at tesa because of snowflake. "what is that collar for? Where did she sleep?" all these questions and i almost said just shut up. it doesnt matter, shes my dog and my sister leave them both alone. it was annoying. luckily i fell asleep most of the way. when we got home i didnt say one word to him just went ot my room. then got a drink and he hugged me but my face was in his chest and i couldnt breathe so i pushed him away, i wasnt hugging him in the first place, he was hugging me. so it probably seemed like i didnt wanna talk to him much less hug him, which i didnt.
todays just like a crappy day. i dont wanna be at school right now. its not that its a bad day, i just dont wanna be here. so much has been going on and i am sick and tired of it. i dont have any of my school stuff done. im tired and wanna go to bed, permenently....
Friday, April 29, 2011
Corbin
Corbin,
i always used to think it was just the three of us kids together with mom. thats all changed now. its not the three of us but now the four of us. you are my baby brother. i love you with all my heart. you are so blessed to have been born to mom and this family. i will always be your older sister and always look after you. were gunna have so much fun when your older. i always wanted an older sibling who knew everything and someone i could look up to, i may not get that but i will make sure you have me. we have to stick together. we wont have mom and jason forever, but we can have each other. i love you buddy. life will get hard and sometimes you may feel like giving up but you cant. stay strong, not only for others around you but for yourself. enjoy life as a kid, get away will all you can. i wish i could have done more when i was younger but im glad i did what i did. get dirty and make messes, just dont chop off you limbs... no matter who says what, your my bother, no half brother or anything,
I love my little brother…I love my little brother,
He's the apple of my eye,
But there’s nothing thing I don’t like
I can’t wait to see him after school each day
To hug and kiss and play.
He gives me a big bright smile & reaches for me, too
My little brother loves me too!
I love my little brother,
He's the apple of my eye,
But there’s nothing thing I don’t like
about my baby brother!
One day when we’re both older
I may need his shoulder…
To lean on when I cry
Or pick me up when I fall
But you’ll have to bend down little brother
‘cause I know you’ll be tall…
Taller than me but don’t you forget
I am your big sister and I’ll never let…
Any troubles come your way
‘cause I’ll protect you each day.
about my baby brother!
One day when we’re both older
I may need his shoulder…
To lean on when I cry
Or pick me up when I fall
But you’ll have to bend down little brother
‘cause I know you’ll be tall…
Taller than me but don’t you forget
I am your big sister and I’ll never let…
Any troubles come your way
‘cause I’ll protect you each day.
I love my little brother,He's the apple of my eye,
But there’s nothing thing I don’t like
about my baby brother!
nothings really cooling off yet. everything is still up in the air. i found out what i was accused of stealing... its rediculous. why i would want to even look at what i "stole" flabergasts me. i told my dad that what was going on is so crappy and that we needed to talk because it really offends me. he said we talk when he got home yesterday, but did we, NO. i am glad we didnt, yes but things need to be fixed and sitting on my butt wont fix any of it.
i tried to talk to my friend so we can actually talk again. she blew me off, again but htis time gave me attitude. i can handle that because im strong and i know how to deal with it. but shes gone too far with emmy. poor girl is always crying over megan. she didnt do ANYTHING to desever it. megan went so far to tell emmy she didnt wanna be her friend anymore. wth! someone just needs to slap her and make her see what shes doing.
i cant wait till i get to go see mom this weekend. i need this break! i have to get away even if its for a few days. it will be so nice to see all the family and be able to breathe with out getting yelled at.
school has sucked for the last few days but its my only way to get away from the home life. it sucks that no matter where i go i cant get away. school needs to be over already. jesse should get his lisence asap so that during the summer he can take us to the movies or something. just all of us kids, no one else. although i am scared to be driving with him.... im not sure if i trust him driving.
ill be going to benson school next year, mixed feelings. i dont like the people there but i know ill get friends. im not sure if the education there is high enough for me. st. david was too easy and i dont feel like i learned anything. this school isnt much of a challange either. i fly through all of my work, i understand everything too. im in honors class so that makes it harder than the average student would have but its still too easy. i have good grades too all A's but like one B and thats because i dont always do my work. shame on me but the way things have been going i cant focus on doing my work.
i honestly cant wait ot move back to moms. i sure hope we will be able to get the house. if we do, it will make everything so much better. things wont go as i plan them in my head and i know that because they never trun out the way i think they will but it will be so much better than here. i want ot get a job so i can start earning money. ill probably just babysit so that i wont have to have work hour, so if i dont wanna work one day then i wont have to. i think once i move everything will get better but i have about five weeks left, hopfully i can make it.
my plan, which may not work at all, is to just ignore beth and let her be whatetever she wants to be. ill talk to dad if i need to or if he talks to me but im not out of my way to try and make things better becaseu i know it wont help at all.
ive gotten so close to mom these last few days. ive been able to talk to her everyday. i miss her so much. i miss getting those hugs before she left ot work. i miss her cooking. i just miss seeing her. shes so pretty. im so glad i got her looks! anyone who has her in their life is so special. i hope that when i move back home that our relationship will continue to grow. i know we will argue at times, but who doesnt? i just cant wait!
i tried to talk to my friend so we can actually talk again. she blew me off, again but htis time gave me attitude. i can handle that because im strong and i know how to deal with it. but shes gone too far with emmy. poor girl is always crying over megan. she didnt do ANYTHING to desever it. megan went so far to tell emmy she didnt wanna be her friend anymore. wth! someone just needs to slap her and make her see what shes doing.
i cant wait till i get to go see mom this weekend. i need this break! i have to get away even if its for a few days. it will be so nice to see all the family and be able to breathe with out getting yelled at.
school has sucked for the last few days but its my only way to get away from the home life. it sucks that no matter where i go i cant get away. school needs to be over already. jesse should get his lisence asap so that during the summer he can take us to the movies or something. just all of us kids, no one else. although i am scared to be driving with him.... im not sure if i trust him driving.
ill be going to benson school next year, mixed feelings. i dont like the people there but i know ill get friends. im not sure if the education there is high enough for me. st. david was too easy and i dont feel like i learned anything. this school isnt much of a challange either. i fly through all of my work, i understand everything too. im in honors class so that makes it harder than the average student would have but its still too easy. i have good grades too all A's but like one B and thats because i dont always do my work. shame on me but the way things have been going i cant focus on doing my work.
i honestly cant wait ot move back to moms. i sure hope we will be able to get the house. if we do, it will make everything so much better. things wont go as i plan them in my head and i know that because they never trun out the way i think they will but it will be so much better than here. i want ot get a job so i can start earning money. ill probably just babysit so that i wont have to have work hour, so if i dont wanna work one day then i wont have to. i think once i move everything will get better but i have about five weeks left, hopfully i can make it.
my plan, which may not work at all, is to just ignore beth and let her be whatetever she wants to be. ill talk to dad if i need to or if he talks to me but im not out of my way to try and make things better becaseu i know it wont help at all.
ive gotten so close to mom these last few days. ive been able to talk to her everyday. i miss her so much. i miss getting those hugs before she left ot work. i miss her cooking. i just miss seeing her. shes so pretty. im so glad i got her looks! anyone who has her in their life is so special. i hope that when i move back home that our relationship will continue to grow. i know we will argue at times, but who doesnt? i just cant wait!
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